A few days ago, I was sitting in Caffé Medici in Austin, americano in hand, and I decided to check in on my girl Lilly Singh (Superwoman on YouTube). She’s got 8 million subscribers, and rightfully so. She’s one of those people who spits out straight-up wisdom while keeping it relatable and not-cheesy – see why we like her?
So I’m watching SuperwomanVlogs, which is an entirely different channel than Superwoman’s main channel, and it’s the vlog where she’s going to two auditions. She talks about her nerves before auditions and says this:
I have this new mentality going to auditions where I’m nervous but I have just decided in my life that very few things are the make or break of my life. Back in the day, I used to think that, you know, a collab with someone, or meeting someone, or an opportunity would be the make or break. I just decided that I don’t ever want to be in that position that one thing could be the make or break of my life, or my career, or my happiness – whether it’s a relationship, whether it’s an audition, whether it’s a movie role, whether it’s anything, no one thing should be the make or break. So when I go in, I’m like, if I get this, it’d be great, but if I don’t though, on to the next one because nothing is a make or break, and I think that’s a good mentality to have, especially when you think about relationships. Like, I love this person so much, but you know if they leave me, I’m going to be sad, but it’s not going to destroy my life. I just don’t want anything to ever be the make or break. Hug yourself every time I said “make or break.”
Yes, you may be nervous as hell for your presentation, audition, date, interview, or first day on the job but whether you ace it or epicly fail, it won’t matter that much in the grand scheme of things. Not to say you shouldn’t reflect on your life when things are going poorly, but you should remind yourself that one of the keys to being a happier person is to realize that genuine happiness is the result of many factors in your life, and not one event.
When you look back on your life thus far, was there one event that all of a sudden changed everything? Probably not. It was most likely a result of days, months, or years of work and a variety of good and bad experiences that have gotten you to where you are. The good days and the bad days have all accounted for where you are now.
Take a moment to think about what you’re worried or nervous about right now. Do you remember anything you were worried or nervous about last year, let alone last week? Most times, you can’t remember, and you can’t because the things we worry about day to day are so trivial and minimal to our lives. Give a quick shout out to yourself for being here now in this moment after all the nervous moments you currently can’t even remember.
Don’t let anything or anyone ever be the make or break of your life.
To watch Lilly’s video: [0:47 of The Time Security Wouldn’t Let Me Audition]