F*cking Money Man: A Cheap Present Guide For The Holiday Season


It’s getting around that time again. The holiday season, cold weather and present buying for everyone and their dog, but in my case, my sister’s cats. 

This year, I’m determined to spend less and genuinely enjoy the gift-giving part of the holidays. 

ZERO judgment if you still use it but we shouldn’t be relying on Amazon for our presents anymore. I won’t lie. I still use my friend’s Amazon for the video bit, IT’S GOT PARKS AND REC, and sometimes an odd cheap phone charger. Nobody’s perfect. 

That’s the point in the website though, they pry on the fact that no one has time anymore to buy anything because they are always working. And that’s including the Amazon workers who are paid so little for the absolute Fairy Godmother style magic that they do. Capitalism S U C K S the most during the holidays. 

Enjoy this relatable tune from Rosalía, Catalonian queen: F*king Money Man


Not to mention the fact that the whole Amazon phenomena takes the fun out of the present buying experience. But I’m not here to rant (not every time at least). 

I’m here to give some advice for those of us who have been travelling around and accidentally spent all their money on ice cream everyday, yep. That’s me. Or can’t afford an extra baggage so will have to stuff their presents in their pretty tiny 40 x 30 x 20 bag.

Here’s some easy and creative gifts to give this year for your loved ones but with terribly cheesy Christmas movie puns to get you in the spirit, or turn you off it entirely. Sorry, I’m Home Alone. 

1. Give Something You Love, Actually

The best present I’ve ever received to this day was from my friend Mary. She made me a cinema-themed gift  in a decorated box with all of her favourite movies, popcorn, sweets and came round to watch them with me. 

The DVDs were second hand, the box was an old shoebox and the popcorn and sweets were probably £1.50 combined. Still obsessed. 

Have you been begging your friend to watch your super-niche random TV show because you always make quotes from it daily? Give it as a gift with a twist. 

2. It’s a Wonderful Slice

Supposed to be swapping gifts tomorrow and the shops have already closed? Baking is a lovely pastime to get into the spirit. Pop on a cheesy playlist and sing your heart out whilst making dreamy tasty bites of something good! I always make Oreo brownies for anything when I can’t think of a present or am looking to save some $$$. Only really takes about an hour. Ingredients aren’t too difficult to find either.

Sprinkle edible glitter all over and wrap it with anything you can find that looks nice. By this, I mean recycle old newspapers, old present wrap or even magazines. Be that recycle b!tch.

3. The Holiday (Gift)

Yeah we’ve all been travelling, BUT a nicely posed Insta doesn’t constitute as the perfect present for Mum, sadly. Whilst you’re away, grab all the weird, cheap things you can. I collect postcards, go over to flea markets for tiny trinkets and food markets & local shops to get traditional food or drink. Even though it might seem basic for us travel queens it’s actually so nice for people who have never been to those places to get a little taste of your temporary home. 

4. The Grinch Who Forgot Christmas 

Name all your presents from last year. I dare you. It’s quite hard to rack your brain for the daily planner or socks you received, both amazing gifts but not too memorable. 

An experience can be as easy as booking a £5 ticket to a local play to a whole a$$ day planned out in your city of all the things you and your friend keep saying you’ll do. There’s theatre, art, flights (mum, hope you’re reading), comedy shows, music gigs, salsa classes, wine tasting or a nice coffee! you NAME IT. 

Name all your presents from last year. I dare you.

5. Miracle On Whatever Street

Everyone’s good at something. Use that to your advantage. It doesn’t have to be major. I write joke poems, make collages and illustrate badly, so I’m going to be using all of that to make some funky presents this year. Wish me luck.

Tip: make it super unique to your friend. Does your friend looooooove bath bombs? Why not try out making your own. 

Even if it’s badly made, rejoice in the fact they will still love it because you put the effort in! Or so your teacher would probably promise you when you made a Christmas card saying ‘hapy cristmos mumi’ age 4.

Another friend got me a disposable camera and decorated it Amsterdam themed because we were 2 weeks away from our trip there. I have no idea where those photos are now but I loved the camera. Sorry Meg. 

6. The Nightmare Before Christmas

Ooops. No one actually cares if you can’t afford to buy anything or don’t have the time to make gifts. It can be resolved with a thoughtful card. Presents are overrated anyways. Unless they are any of the above. 

the cutest cutest ever present to get ya'll in the holiday mood!

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