You’re probably not too familiar with Mérida. Let’s just call it Cancún’s older, more cultured brother. He’s beautiful but doesn’t try too hard. He’s into live music, not techno-reggaeton DJs. He drinks his mezcal straight, not in a mojito. Basically, he’s a Mexican dreamboat. But because you may not be too familiar with the capital of the Yucatán and the historic home of Mayan civilization, I’m here to give you some tips on how to successfully avoid the Spring Breakers and find yourself sleeping on a hand-woven hammock in this colorful colonial paradise.
- Meet a Tinder date in Mexico City. Have him convince you to go to Mérida for the weekend.
- Tell your boss that you’re “working remotely” on Friday. Don’t bring your laptop. Whoops.
- Land in Mérida. Walk a little bit outside the airport before calling your Uber because they’re illegal at the airport. Befriend your Uber driver using your mediocre Spanish.
- Go to your INCREDIBLE hotel, Luz en Yucatán. Have them show you to your rooftop suite, complete with a hammock, two free beers in the fridge, and a 24-hour pool. Hug the manager.
Go to your INCREDIBLE hotel, Luz en Yucatán.
5. Put on some shorts. It’s 100 degrees outside.
6. Stop by Mercado 60 and get the best cochinita pibil tacos you’ve ever had. Listen to the live music and enjoy the outdoor ambience.
7. Wake up the next morning. Go check out the Cuzamá Cenotes that are not touristy and also FREAKIN’ BEAUTIFUL. Swim with the fishies and try not to think about the bats in the caves with you.
8. Check out Paseo de Montejo, the street with all the colonial Spanish houses. Wonder if your appreciation of colonization is wrong.
9. Okay, beach day. Head to Progreso Beach. Eat fish tacos, swim in the emerald water, and wonder why you thought the Jersey Shore had nice beaches. Who gaslighted you?
10. Hit the clubs (Shotimilco, La Negrita)! Have your Tinder date pay for all your drinks! Think about how you’re bringing feminism back like five years.
Boom. Now go conquer Mérida like a pro.